One of the hardest and most important aspects of weight loss is honoring your present state. This means honoring who you are and how you became you. Accepting the reasons for your weight, and your family background that may have contributed to your condition, plus honoring who you are is the hardest, most important aspect of your journey. It’s not only saying that you are ok, but also leaving out all of the but’s, and’s and maybe’s after you say you are ok. The reason why this is important is if you never get to the place of acceptance, you will never be able to let go of who you are now to become who you want to be. It’s like having a friend in a very bad relationship. As soon as you point out how unhealthy, destructive and hurt-filled the relationship is they will automatically start defending the relationship.
As a child there was a point in your life when you wanted and prayed to be who you are now. You wanted to be big. You wanted to be safe. You wanted to be loved or maybe you wanted to be numb. Your outside appearance is nothing more than a desired persona created years ago in the midst of pain and suffering.
The first step in honoring, accepting who you are now, is to go inside and talk to that scared, frightened little child and tell her that you made it, that you are safe, that you are alive. Hold that child. Fill that scared, lonely, unloved child full of love, and safety.
The second step in honoring who you are is to let go of the reasons that were behind the creation of you. We all have an understanding of how we came to be. Some of the reasons may include childhood abuse, the need to fit in, deep feeling of being unloved or the need to be safe. A lot of times the reasons are emotionally tied in with our mother or our father or other family members. The goal in this exercise is not to re-examine every cut, every tear, every sorrow, it is to create a basic understanding of the reasons why the past inner you needed to be big, safe or numb. So write down a few of these reasons. The reasons can be as specific or as general as you need. If it is too uncomfortable to go that deeply into your pain and subconscious, pretend that there was another person with a similar problem and similar goals. What would be her pain? What would be her struggles? Remember, we are dealing with the subconscious. The subconscious has no idea between reality and fantasies, between today and yesterday, or between the future and the past. It is like a computer, it only stores information to be recalled at a later date. It does not interpret the information.
The third step is to step into the future and create a desired new you. Picture, feel, taste, smell, and become that new you in the future. What does that person look like? What is she wearing? What is her life like? How happy is she? What are her new dreams, goals and desires? Remember, this is pretend. You can create anyone you wish. We are only stepping into the future to create a new you. Once you have created this future you, who is safer and more complete, bring that person back to your present. Allow this want, this dream to mingle and become a part of who you are now.
Do this exercise three times a week for four weeks. As the weeks go by, notice the little changes, the little victories. Allow them to become greater victories in your internal and external struggles to achieve the new you.